Yesterday, hugging my teddy bear.. crying. 1 bread for breakfast, cold orange juice for lunch.. coughing.. air for dinner, being forced to drink hot chocolate for supper, because im shivering..
Everybody feel bad because they cant eat, hungry. I feel good and happy because not eating .. Today woke up at 10 something... feeling like crap! No breakfast... After shower, get dressed, went to church...
Sitting inside such beautiful and comfortable church, listening to choir singing, pastor talking ... my shallow eye.. full of tears.. makes my vision blurry.. suddenly, i can see everything clear again... it was, my tears flow out.. drop by drop...... uncontrolable. I have to wipe them secretly, silently..... I tried to look upwards but it didn't work.. at all... I don't know why.......
Went to violin class at 4:30pm. Same time with him .. I'm happy to see him, but in the mean time, I'm feel kind of sad, angry... I din't talk to him.. din't look at him in the eyes .. When he is leaving, I actually don't want him to leave.... but .. what to do.. Maybe he got other things to do, so .. I let him go .. Watching him walking away with tons of books and his new violin...
Since he is so worried .. i will act to be strong in front of him... keep all things inside, so he will be less worrying .......
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